Why are men ridiculously delusional in the women they want/approach? I'm not a troll. This is a real question. Why does a fat, pot bellied, unkempt, balding, stupid (ergo poor) man, tell a woman above his league that she isn't hot enough for him?

The second instance makes him a cheat (which is a more polite way of saying, “liar”); cheats who are caught and/or want to move on will say anything to rationalize their ways: “you’re ugly!” “you’re old!” “you’re clingy!” etc.

That’s something we all have a hard time accepting: for the most part women do the choosing. That’s one of the reasons you so often find a married man having affairs behind his wife’s back: because men will accept sex if it is thrown at them and women are attracted to married men.

Explaining why that is in detail is way beyond the scope here.

Why is pornography still alive and not illegal? Why doesn’t the government do about tricking women into them?

So, finally, they default to approaching whichever women they find attractive. For the most part, men are all attracted to the same type of women.

If someone you’ve been seeing for a while says that to you then there’s likely been some friction between the two of you otherwise and you’re arguing; or, given he’s the right kind of narcissistic personality, he believes he’s found someone better.

As far as the delusional nature of men in general, I can only say that while the 17 year old boy from a few paragraphs earlier was stupid and egotistical mainly as a matter of immaturity, that situation was in some ways typical because it was actually the case that the girl approached the boy.

I’m wondering about attachment and transference with the therapist and the idea of escape and fantasy? How much do you think your strong feelings, constant thoughts, desires to be with your therapist are a way to escape from your present life? I wonder if the transference serves another purpose than to show us our wounds and/or past experiences, but is a present coping strategy for managing what we don’t want to face (even if unconsciously) in the present—-current relationships, life circumstances, etc. Can anyone relate to this concept of escape in relation to their therapy relationship? How does this play out for you?

So, in the first instance, the only person who can explain why a certain person does anything is just that person himself. The rest of us can only guess.

Ask any conventionally attractive women you know and they will tell you that all guys are always trying to date them: the good guys, the bad guys, and the ugly guys.

The few men who do actually and legitimately approach women—that is, men who aren’t already married, or in a committed relationship, or playing at “polyamory” b*llsh*t—those men eventually decide their ability to decide who’s a “good match,” or who might be interested in them is pretty much a crap shoot.

Why am I always so tired, no matter how much I sleep?

I’ve only ever heard one “man” in my entire life tell a woman that she isn’t “hot enough” for him and that was a 17 year old boy talking to a 17 year old girl.